WorkCover Funny Funnies
Seen or heard or experienced something outrageous(ly) funny with WorkCover? Share it with us all!
Note: for more workcover fun as previously posted on our blog, please search under the “FUN” category.
Use these for your answering machine
Hi! I’m probably home, I’m just avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave me a message and if I don’t call back, it’s you.
I don’t know if this should go under funnies or under our insult us here page!
Found this WorkCover QLD Customer Adviser who thinks it’s FUN
Listening to our seriously injured difficulties with our claims and complaints sounds really fun, yeah…
FUN return to work WorkCover jobs, anyone heard of that one?
Must be YOUNG and FUN…
Is that not discrimination?
The number 1 work-related injury
What does this picture say? Understanding the facts about personal injury at work and worker’s compensation can prepare you in the event an injury does occur. It is important to know your rights as an employee. Taking the appropriate actions from getting medical attention to finding every dirty little tactic used by workcover insurance companies!
Things you don’t want to hear in surgery
WorkCover NSW is having [technical] difficulties
Allie – Allianz chatbot
Callie Allie chat bot as in robot, WTF! Oh well, we though pretty much all ah ah ahhh (especiallyworkcover) insurance case managers were chatbots
Boycott by Workcover Victims Victoria
You may have picked up on our “insult us here” page that Workcover Victims Victoria has apparently “boycotted” our site as of 2 April 2012, for no reason other than insane jealousy of aworkcovervictimsdiary.com’s sucess. (we believe).
Interestingly, and perhaps hilariously funny, is that whilst our site is “boycotted” Workcover Victims Victoria’s blog Author, Joanne, is re-tweeting our tweets – ha!
As you can see from the above example, Workcover Victims Victoria re-tweeted 2 of our tweets on 4 April 2012, our original tweets were re-tweeted first by our very good friends Q42X and then re-tweeted by Workcover Victims Victoria, ha ha ha
Lost workcover mobile phone – WTF
We wonder who the owner could be? Could it be a drunken CEO or former Chairman on a drunken binge, celebrating the cutting back of injured worker benefits, who has lost their mobile?
“Found a Blackberry phone on Sunday on the Central Coast of NSW. It belongs to sum1 at _workcover_. I am mailing it back 2 u 2day”
Note that this mobile likely has access to WorkCover’s corporate email systems. A certain reporter should not be mailing it back in (straight away), but should be handing it to Channel 9′s investigative reporters.
One of our great and artistic supporters converted our slogan “injured at work, disabled by workcover” into this “stunning” graphic
The Ahh tooth fairy
Courtesy from @workcoverwatch:
Work from home, become an
@Allianz_Au private investigator! “find creative solutions” https://www.careers.allianz.com.au/jobtools/jncustomsearch.viewFullSingle?in_organid=14679&in_jnCounter=222237765 … Creative solutions = Lie
Why hire qualified people when you can “up-skill claims staff in the management of psychological injuries”? https://www.careers.allianz.com.au/jobtools/jncustomsearch.viewFullSingle?in_organid=14679&in_jnCounter=222237678 …
Courtesy from Jo via Facebook
Bizarre but allegedly real workcover claims
Many years ago I received a WC report on a young lady who was rather endowed. Somehow she was leaning over and she pinched her nipple in a desk drawer as she was closing it. Her supervisor (also a female), in the action taken to prevent a reoccurence, wrote “Employee was advised to wear a bra.” Absolute truth.
I had the most unforgettable work comp claim. I had an employee (a nurse, no less!) who claimed she tore a rotator cuff while…ummm, while “wiping herself off” after going to the restroom.
I’m sure some claims arise from an employee’s victim — or entitlement — mentality. I read the case of an employee in who sought to collect Workers’ Comp for psychiatric injury allegedly resulting from harassment and persecution by her supervisor and co-workers. While it could be the basis of a legitimate claim, what the state Workers’ Comp Appeals Board found was that it was the employee who harassed and persecuted her co-workers; any psychological stress she experienced resulted from their “disdainful reactions” to her mistreatment of them. “To allow an employee to harass co-workers and, when they respond unfavorably, to claim a stress-related injury to the employee’s psyche would increase…claims and create the potential for abuse of the system,” wrote an appeals court in upholding the board’s decision to deny the claim.
Courtesy of Dave via our Forum
Evolution of a Case Manager – courtesy of Dave (via forum)
Weird workcover injuries
My head injuries have created a permanent increase in libido which has led to two affairs and has ruined my marriage.
I got my right hand first finger in the saw while helping Mike and staying out of his way. My finger bled and it affected my mind.
I chipped my tooth on a cookie while visiting a customer.
While on duty, I was hit in the face by a hand. My glasses were broke and something hit my eye. No one believes I was hit but it hurt!
Hot grease splashed on me and fried my thumb.
I was working on my job and got a pain at the the end of the week.
Accident unnecessarily occurred on account of a misjudgment.
I ran down the steps and when I got to the end, my feet wouldn’t stop.
I had my hand in the machine while the air was off. Someone turned on switches and folded my hand.
I was assaulted and attacked by a vicious employee because he didn’t like me and I know it.
The patient was going to fall for me. I could not let this happen. In so preventing this, I caused myself damage to my knee.
This is for the cut on my hand, but I took the stitches out myself. However, I am filing on account of the watchdog biting me and on account of a hurt I got in a fall in the paint shop.
In performing the job of which I am capable, I didn’t know the machine was on and was showing my new helper what not to do and did.
I was proving that I could carry an air compressor and I strained my back.
I looked into the hose to see why the water did not come out. It came.
I sprained my ankle the same way I sprained my ankle before.
I hit my arm against the hopper, and got flea bites.
That night I done something I shouldn’t-a done and now my back hurts.
A gate hit my foot while my back was turned, closing the other side.
Customer thought she needed the brakes adjusted. She drove the car into the station, could not stop the car, came through the door and pinned claimant against the cash register.
I was removing a blouse for a customer and which time I injured my back.
I inherited this occupational disease.
Acting on behalf of my employer, I hit another automobile.
In order to avoid a person, Betty lost her balance and fell down. In one hand she had a ketchup botttle which broke on impact, cutting her hand. In the other hand she had her thumb.
I overasserted myself and got a hernia.
The doctor gave me a disease for my occupation and said I must change jobs.
Gears smashed thumb while holding air cleaner, while putting nipple on with right hand, while balancing air cleaner with left hand, while holding end with left hand away from right hand. Gears were not covered.
I didn’t know water was where I fell.
I fell down in the Fotomat booth while dislocating my knee.
Sustained back injury due to car accident which is part of his job.
Falling off the truck, I dislocated my pelvis and other male organs.
I slipped and fell and hurt everything in me.
I dropped my head on my foot when someone pushed their guts across the table without calling out (from a slaughterhouse employee).
The fumes were so bad I was taken by them and went to bed with the doctor.
The guy I work with went ape s4%t. He hauled off and punched me in the jaw and then tried to rip my throat out.
Carrying roll roofing, I caught my toe on a piece of tin that was froze in the ground. The tin flipped against me causing me to trip, letting the roofing fall into the bucket of tar. Tar splashed out, burning my arm, and causing me to jump back into the ladder which fell against me, knocking me into the building, breaking my tooth. Thus I burned, bumped, and broke me.
A real workcover claim letter
This is an accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the British equivalent of the Workers’ Compensation Board. This is the bricklayer’s report, a true story. Had this guy died, he’d have walked away with a Darwin Award for sure!
I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put “Poor Planning” as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient. I am a bricklayer by trade.
On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later, were found to be slightly in excess of 500 lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor. Securing the rope at the ground level, I went down and untied the rope, holding tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.
You will note that in Block 11 of the accident report form that my weight is 135 lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the 3rd floor, I met the barrel, which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed.
This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collarbone as listed in Section 3 of the accident report form.
Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of the excruciating pain I was now beginning to experience. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you might imagine, I then began a rapid descent, down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the 3rd floor, I met the empty barrel coming up.
This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and severe lacerations of my legs and lower body.
Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back onto me.
This explains the two broken legs.
Understanding computers and our recent Dos attack for Dummies
Wonder if my CM does this?
To whom it may concern
Don’t we all have had this…ahhh… feeling?
Could this be a CM’s brain xray?
A suggested gift for your CM
Could this be another private investigator?
Must be the Advisory Service hotline