Further to some pretty ‘heavy’ recent discussions about injured workcover and TAC victims mental anguishes and their ongoing experiencing of workcover and TAC abuse, some of us may perhaps in turn become an abuser or abusive…This article tries to draw a line connecting those in positions of power and influence, and to determine if their predatory actions against those without power and influence cause some of societies ills.
click to watch video and read article
Are we just a collection of sick people preying on each other?
“I am starting to understand things better now. After having gone through the process myself.
This experience has taught me to look at people in positions of power, and influence, not as people to be automatically trusted, adhered to, and respected, but in the same manner I would look upon a homeless person, a drunk or a working man. As humans. Without as much judgement for the clothes, the car, the house. Perhaps with some newfound respect for the fact that a stockbroker can be dishonest and still look “respectable”, while a homeless street person can be “honest” and still look not respectable.
I find that we pay to much respect to the “trappings” of wealth that each of us strives for. And that the pursuit of those trappings makes some people sicker than a street addict looking to score his next fix.
I too, started out to become a man of means. I now discover that it is far more important to try and become a man of values.”
Please go to http://web.me.com/lelford/breachoftrust.ca/Ch_7,_Hurt_People,_Hurt_People.html to view the entire article and the accompanying great video.
Here is another interesting article:
Is there a link for the many years of abuse towards any injured worker by the [workcover insurer]
Posted by Terry Fedorak on March 7, 2011
The connection is not surprising, but it raises a crucial scientific question: Does the abuse cause biological changes that may increase the risk for these problems?
Over the past decade or so, researchers at McGill University in Montreal, led by Michael Meaney, have shown that affectionate mothering alters the expression of genes in animals, allowing them to dampen their physiological response to stress. These biological buffers are then passed on to the next generation: rodents and nonhuman primates biologically primed to handle stress tend to be more nurturing to their own offspring, Dr. Meaney and other researchers have found.
Now, for the first time, they have direct evidence that the same system is at work in humans.
In a study of people who committed suicide published Sunday in the journal Nature Neuroscience, researchers in Montreal report that people who were abused or neglected as children showed genetic alterations that likely made them more biologically sensitive to stress.
The findings help clarify the biology behind the wounds of a difficult childhood and hint at what constitutes resilience in those able to shake off such wounds.
The study “extends the animal work on the regulation of stress to humans in a dramatic way,” Jaak Panksepp, an adjunct professor at Washington State University who was not involved in the research, wrote in an e-mail message.
He added that the study “suggests pathways that have promoted the psychic pain that makes life intolerable,” and continued, “It’s a wonderful example of how the study of animal models of emotional resilience can lead the way to understanding human vicissitudes.”
In the study, scientists at McGill and the Singapore Institute for Clinical Sciences compared the brains of 12 people who had committed suicide and who had had difficult childhoods with 12 people who had committed suicide and who had not suffered abuse or neglect as children.
The scientists determined the nature of the subjects’ upbringing by doing extensive interviews with next of kin, as well as investigating medical records. The brains are preserved at Douglas Hospital in Montreal as part of the Quebec Suicide Brain Bank, a program founded by McGill researchers to promote suicide studies that receives brain donations from around the province.
When people are under stress, the hormone cortisol circulates widely, putting the body on high alert. One way the brain reduces this physical anxiety is to make receptors on brain cells that help clear the cortisol, inhibiting the distress and protecting neurons from extended exposure to the hormone, which can be damaging.
The researchers found that the genes that code for these receptors were about 40 percent less active in people who had been abused as children than in those who had not. The scientists found the same striking differences between the abused group and the brains of 12 control subjects, who had not been abused and who died from causes other than suicide. “It is good evidence that the same systems are at work in humans that we have seen in other animals,” said Patrick McGowan, a postdoctoral fellow in Dr. Meaney’s lab at McGill and the lead author of the study.
His co-authors, along with Dr. Meaney, were Aya Sasaki, Ana C. D’Alessio, Sergiy Dymov, Benoît Labonté and Moshe Szyf, all of McGill, and Dr. Gustavo Turecki, a McGill researcher who leads the Brain Bank.
Because of individual differences in the genetic machinery that regulates stress response, experts say, many people manage their distress despite awful childhoods. Others may find solace in other people, which helps them regulate the inevitable pain of living a full life.
“The bottom line is that this is a terrific line of work, but there is a very long way to go either to understand the effects of early experience or the causes of mental disorders,” Dr. Steven Hyman, a professor of neurobiology at Harvard, wrote in an e-mail message.
Hey Ben,
Just a little warning, Dr Malcolm Hogg, the renowned pain specialist I suggested you try, as far as I know, always prescribes psychological support and treatment (psychotherapy for chronic pain management as Shelley describes) as part of his pain management strategy.
I sincerely hope that this will not put you off from consulting him.
I too, from experience, firmly believe that pain control can only be achieved through various modalities, including medication, nerve stimulator like a TENS machine (little machine you use to give the painful area ‘electric shocks’, to trick the brain to feel a different sensation instead of pain, very distracting and may be useful for you too); and psychotherapy. In terms of the latter, with Pam (my psych) I have been able to learn a lot of “distraction” techniques as well as “visualisation” techniques that have greatly helped me reduce the perceived pain. In addition to psychotherapy there is also the use of certain anti-depressants, as well as anti-epileptic meds that can seriously reduce pain levels. I have personally tried 3 different anti-depressants before I found a “suitable” one, which has not only lifted my mood but also helps tremendously with nerve pain I have from a severed nerve in my leg where hamstrings were harvested to transplant in my shoulder. As you know some anti-depressants have more side-effects than others (some are intolerable) and it’s a matter of finding one that suits you and adjusting the dosage. This can take a while it get right.
Also,re Dr Hogg, for me he tailored a really effective pain management plan which included , at one stage, an anti-epileptic drug which was chosen for me to HELP ME LOOSE WEIGHT as I had put on, at the time, 4-5 kilos from an anti-depressant. This drug not only reduced my nerve pain but I also lost all the weight I had gained in less than 1 month, how’s that for a “side-effect”! No dieting needed! No hunger!
He also added preventative and known vitamins and minerals proven to work and help prevent the worsening of the pain and the progression of CRPS (e.g Vit C). The great thing about Dr Hogg is that he also cares about addiction and possible addiction to meds and tailors pain management plans to prevent addiction and tolerance (having to increase meds to achieve same result). With me, I alternate monthly from one heavy duty drug to another (incl Methadone breaks).
I believe I only manage to cope with my debilitating pain (and I have severe oestoarthritis of the head of my shoulder with fractures and the real possibility that the ball can shatter at any time amongst other things such as torn tendons and CRPS of the entire arm + severed nerve in the leg) through the use of a COMBINATION of all techniques. Only taking meds for pain does not help me enough, unless I take so many of them I am unconscious and still then I’ll wake up at night crying.
I think that when you have terrible pain, you just about try ANYTHING to reduce it, even if it includes psychological pain strategies… even if that includes a psych, hypnotherapy, acupuncture, being rubbed with goat shit or having to drink snake blood! As long as it works!
Keep strong
re preconceived notions — same argument is used to get people along to church so the indoctrination can start.
My problem isn’t with my preconceived notions of Psychs at all — it’s a question of logic, it’s a question of what’s possible.
I discussed suicide with the psych/psych, yes. I’ve had my ex GP even tell me “go on, do it” (paraphrasing, I have his quote written down somewhere if you’re interested in the actual version) when told about suicide. Last time I saw the medically negligent prick. I don’t have to suffer that crap. I suspect he was pushing my buttons to make me “not his problem” any more. Clever response of him avoiding the corrupt system, not at his expense. He really should have his medical license removed, and I called several people about it, but it was a giant runaround. Feel free to try follow up on removing his license, it’s totally insane he’s allowed to continue practising. Mark Glassman of Spiral Medical in clarendon st southbank.
I’m not assuming the intentions or techniques of the Psych at all — that’s your assumption that I’m rejecting it based on, and it’s not true. I’m making an assertion of what is possible. They’re going to sit down and talk to me, and consume my time and money. That cannot fix a sick system. It can only change me. I’m not wrong, and I stand by my assertions of my legal rights, and my responsibility to society to suffer this as an example of the sickness. It’s frustrating that people don’t see my suffering and make moves to change the legislation, but rather, make moves to try and force me to become complicit in the systems problems. (I’m not stating that a psych won’t state that he/she will try and help achieve those ‘fix the system’ goals — but it’ll be a carefully worded “help yourself first” journey over a long time — and it’s precisely people helping themselves first that creates a sick social system. We need to help others first, not ourselves. We need to, as a society, meet the obligations we promise. We’re not. We need to not force people through hardship, and when they don’t cope with that hardship, ship them off to have their head examined, like it’s a problem independant of the abuse. As I’ve said, when you have a young girl being raped, you send the police in to arrest the rapist before you send in the counsellor. Yet society, people, are all concentrating their efforts to convince me to give in, me to change. I’m not wrong, I’m acting in the interests of society, as it is my civic responsibility to do, I have the high moral ground. And if it takes my suffering, or my death to convince people, so be it. You can ascribe that to mental illness if you wish — perhaps it is. But it’s the same type of mental illness that many well respected freedom fighters over history have had. Yet I have no army of supporters, because no such army exists. The only people who could follow, as true peers, are too stuck in a system that grinds them up and turns them to paste, and forces them to submit, forces them to become selfish, forces them to act first for themselves. The pain is bad. But more insufferable is the utter abuse. And sadly, according to the best medical advice I have, I’m much more likely to be able to remove the corruption from the insurance system and government than I am to get relief from my pain. Blessing? Perhaps — but the abuse shouldn’t be there to start with. The pain should be my only additional problem to deal with in life, and the financial penalty that imposes on me should be compensated to the fullest economic extent. The fact it isn’t, and is legislated to remove that, and the government supports the insurance industry in eroding the rights way further than legislated by allowing the judiciary to hear cases where the TAC argues for a “read up” version of the law, and argues for “model litigant” status, when really it should be considered a “maximal litigant, with maximum profit incentive, and therefore maximum bad faith towards the claimant” … There is not only no legal remedy for this, there’s not even a political remedy. Not without the people. And the people are busy having their consent manufactured by creating a police state, a state where education is not independant from politics, where censorship is not only routine, but being pushed as a stated political agenda. Where teachers, educators have their syllabus written for them, and very little in the way of balanced education in “how society works” … “responsibilities of citizens” … “rights of citizens” … “responsibilities of the media” … and arming them sufficient to ensure the public are not held captive to government and commercial propeganda, marketing.
And what I’m claiming is that modifying my mental state prior to having the financial capacity to make the requisite changes in my life is part of the abusive system that’s forcing me into a prisoners dilemma. I don’t disagree help would be good, but I do disagree when it’s appropriate to go and start modifying my responses. The system is sick, it’s making me sicker, and sending me to a Psych is dealing with the symptoms, not the cause. The cause is sleep deprivation & pain. The cause is the abuse. The cause is the stress. The cause is lack of any reasonable life choices at the hands of said abusive system.
Subjecting myself to “learn how to better deal with having your human rights destroyed” is part of the process that encourages people to sit down, shut up and “get along” with the rest of the world putting up with the abuse. I refuse this, and so far every single doctor I’ve spoken to is unwilling to extend their neck even a little for the sake of writing the truth, because it risks being tied up in expensive paperwork and uncompensated legal issues. Very deliberate, and successful tactic by the TAC. And I have given in, gone along, and been rejected. My eyes are now more open than they were, I tried the drugs, it numbed my mind mroe than my body. Pushed me further towards suicide than the pain itself. Unfortunately, my doctors tell me that my best option is to suffer the pain. So I do. I guarantee the court case, the TAC will spin “no painkillers” into an argument for “therefore no pain” — you watch. Will it matter? Who knows, toss of the coin based on judge and jury. The system is fickle, it’s not based on justice. The lawyers know it, the judges know it. Yet they sit down, and shut up as cogs in the machines that chew up people and spit them out. We have a civic duty, to throw ourselves on those gears, to send a message that the machine stops until we the people have rights, justice, dignity. They’re human rights, not a human privilege. Yet some humans are born more right than others. Any lawyer that turns up to work and doesn’t fight the system regardless for personal consequence is failing to meet their civic duty. The same for every doctor, judge, psych, friend, sister. Everyone. The machine IS us. We are the machine. We manufacture our own sense of denial. We must wake up. Take the Red Pill. See the world the way it is. And choose to share in life, humanity, friendship, compassion. There are enough for all, yet we’ve let the rich write their own rules, and they keep re-writing them, and feeding us propeganda to the contrary — and we keep letting them. The problem isn’t them. It never was. The problem is us. The 99%, as some would describe it (I hate the arbitary cutoff — no percentage is good enough). It’s what some of the worlds best academic minds have told us for years. And we don’t hear. We can prevent a *war*. Us, the people. Our childrens war, perhaps even our own war. The current trajectory, on history, this war will happen. Your children will die. Our children will die. Perhaps even we will die. Can you stand by and watch? Right now, NOW, is our time to stand up and fix this, or it will be too late. Parents, teachers, friends, family. We must all not only see the world as it is, politics, law, justice, wars, all the good, all the bad. It won’t be fun. It will probably make you cry to properly understand. But it’s necessary if we wish to save our children, and ourselves. We need to not shy away from discussing politics, but embrace it. Discuss with passion. Between real people, not between a 3 minute tv segment and a million passive listeners. We need broad opinion bases, and we need the actual facts, the truth to spread. Not propeganda. Not marketing. And now, it’s cheap. Now, it’s easy. 20 million, barely lifting their fingers can change this tomorrow. We do not even need a 5 day work week if we want. We set the rules, we create the balances that set the incentives, that set the behaviours. And we need to act.
I don’t want my “experience of pain” to be reduced, I want the *actual* pain to be reduced. You can draw distinctions and make the claim that all pain is perception. However I think that’s an argument too far, and it’s a marketed belief system by the exact same bunch of corrupt cronies. If that truely worked, there’d be no need for pain killers in the world at all — just send them all to psychs to have their brains perception changed so pain is no longer painful, but orgasmic. What a wonderful world. Sorry, but no. If my hand is sending “pain” signals, I want my brain receiving pain signals. It’s how humans are built, it’s normal, and I deserve and want to experience life to it’s fullest, including having my brain properly wired to my nerves and perceptions of such. If my hands nerves are generating pain, I want my brain experiencing pain. It’s my right, and to suggest that I do not deserve sympathy because I’m not interested in deluding myself into pretending that the pain doesn’t exist as efficiently as possible is abusive to my human rights. I have a right to claim damages for injury caused by neglicence, ethically, morally, legally. I will not give up this right, and nor should I be manipulated to do so. I should not be manipulated to accept the world as it is. The world can, and will change. How, is up to us.
I’ve been referred to pain managment clinics, and rejected. Because I have a legal claim. Further evidence of a sick system.
I’ve been to psychologists, and psychiatrist, yet somehow “they must have been crap” … I was reffered to one by a crap GP, but the other is well trusted, well respected and charged near $500 for his hour. Not that $ correlates with quality.
Regarding your links — I agree, the sick system, the abuse, the stress — that all makes my pain worse. Yet, your response, to send me to a psychologist to learn how to detach, how to not be angry at abuses, how to calm myself down so I can not have the physiological response that is right, is normal and is PROPER for the circumstances of abuse? That’s a symptom of the abusive system I’m complaining about. It’s something I refuse to subject myself to. And I hope I’m being clear here as to why I think that people perpetuating the myth that my response to stress is the thing that is best spending effort modulating is a huge part of the problem. People need to see people in my position, and get angry at the system, get up, and launch interventions _at the system_ … not at the individual. They’re an easy target. They’re the target the propeganda wants. I can show you many many better links between pain and psychology that says I need it. Sure, maybe I do need it — but it simply cannot help while I maintain my justified rage at being abused. Does that make my perception of pain worse? There is plenty of evidence to suggest yes. Does that make that “additional pain” my liability? Fuck no, it’s the TAC, it’s the abuse, and the propeganda to suggest it’s reasonable for friends and family to try and force victims into accepting intervention to take unreasonable means “to get better” … or to “get better first” is a huge driver in perpetuating the system. It’s part of what I’m angry about. It also means that unless you can convince me that this is not true, that this is not fact, that there is nothing for me to gain at a psych. Because I refuse to calm down. Utterly refuse.
Now it’s your turn to act, or not. Be part of the system, or not. Join occupy, or not. Become a “cog in the system” wage slave, or not. Contribute by perpetuating misleading at best propeganda. The list goes on.
And, while I do have problems maintaining clarity of thought, consistency, timing, reliability, I’ve had enough time over the years for these thoughts to solidify, be tested against reality, and re-tested, that I don’t believe I’m delusional on this, despite the issues I’m suffering (including mental).
But I’d be a hypocrite if I didn’t invite clear, rational criticism — and if rationale is forthcoming that sufficiently addresses my points, I’ll go to a psych as promised.
Your choices, however are
1. Tell me I’m wrong, and why.
2. to take action against the system I’m pointing out, or
3. sit in your comfy chair, and shut the hell up while you help create the worlds first global civil war.
All of you. All of us.
Ben.
People will perhaps misinterpret my unwillness to do “anything and everything” to try and fix the pain.
There are a lot of snake oil salesmen out there. Things that just cannot, and do not work. It’s even a good chance it’s the bulk of therapies, and the primary mechanism for apparant improvement is placebo.
I’ve been told by DOCTORS to procure illegal drugs. I do not think this should ever be reasonable. If it’ll truely help, prescribe it. If it’s illegal, make the case for legalisation, or for exception. I should not have to adopt addiontal risks of fine, or imprisonment in the persuit of relief. And as tempting as it is, I must choose to refuse and suffer. And I’m sorry those, who choose to be cogs around me, get to suffer my moral standpoint. I’m truely trying to do what is right for the good of society, the just thing, the reasonable thing. The way things should work. Because the rest of the machine deals with secret illegal deals, does not compel me to or give up the rights granted to me under the just law I was born, and sold into.
I require treatments that are justified by data, or can be explained on balance of probabilities (I do not require determinsim — that’s definitely too far) … but a handful of anecdotes is also insufficient. Rosehip oil does not cure everything.
Pain is bad, horrible. But to me, having my mind frazzled by drugs was of dramatically higher impact, both short, and long term. And i’ve tried lots (I gave in and did everything people suggested at one point — end result was me getting significantly worse which I don’t think I’ve recovered from properly still — prior I was coping mentally much better, after, I’m much more prone to poor impulse control or outbursts, waking up screaming and yes, suicidal thoughts. Am I blaming the drugs? No, sample size of one is way too small. I think it’s a pretty clear contributing factor. As is the stress, anxiety, frustration, injustice. All of that. How much is caused by the pain? How much is caused by the sick system, and it’s cumulative abuses? Well, I’ve got an interesting case, because I had a big chunk of money, and I was unaware of the extent of the systemic abuses for perhaps even a couple of years, and the pain hasn’t substantially changed over that period except for the two weeks following the latest cortisone injection — heaven on earth. Best two weeks in the last 4.5 years of my miserable existance.
But while I had my nestegg to live off, and hope for healing and a future worth living — did I cope better? Did I need a psych then? Did I need help coping with stress then? Perhaps my memory is faulty, but all the evidence I have suggests to “no” …. that yes, there were tradeoffs, problems and limitations, but was anyone suggesting I needed a psych, even a little bit? No.
I think that’s great evidence that the underlying cause of my frustration is the broken system, the injustice, my lack of lifestyle, life choices. Sure, pain gets harder to deal with the longer you deal with it — so perhaps there’s a cumulative effect of pain that’s also taking it’s toll. But there’s really, really seriously no excuse not to compensate me to the amount the law allows for, and giving me an opportunity at life with choice, rather than endless forced behaviours and frustrations at continuing to be run through the meat grinder of the TAC.
I hope you don’t mistake my righteous indignation as a signal of anger, or unhappiness at you. Unless you choose option 3 above. Then my involving you in blaming you for the sick system is justified, as you’re not a passive, blameless cog. You’re a cog directly enabling the abuses. I was one of those cogs, it’s hard to blame for the past. But I’m telling you the truth, as precisely as I can, honestly, and reasoned as fully. Not to overwhelm, but to try and provide the best information, so you may make up your own mind. I cannot fight slick marketing, and propeganda with my own marketing and propeganda — that doesn’t fix a sick system, unless you instil a truely alturistic dictator — and that only fixes it while he/she can survive the onslaught of murder attempts. No, the people need to know, the people need to take an active part in knowing, in acting. And I’m doing my part by trying to educate, and encourage people to action. I very much do appreciate your kind words, the care, and the friendship you’re both showing, and I hope it to continue and expand. It’s not unappreciated, and is indeed sorely needed – humans don’t function well in a social vacuum, and that’s where you wind up when trying to convince the people around you of a truth they do not wish to hear.
It’s unfortunately very successful propeganda. Tactics for war, not for governments against their own citizens. Know it or not, the civil war has already started. which side are you on?
Ben.
Oh, and I have this really great cure for pain. It’s a secret though, you will be totally pain free, it even comes with free steak knives. Which you’ll be able to use once more! And all it costs is the low low payment of $1995 a week. We can even set up a payment plan, to come off your credit card at only 19.791c/minute*!
*minimums apply, amounts paid are non-refundable, no correspondence will be entered into, you waive your legal rights, and merely reading this constitues an agreement to start billing. To stop billing at any time, simply request a “form 3027″ from this address “2071 snake oil way, nigeria 30127″
I hope you enjoyed
Ben.
Your moral crusading is all well and good but again, your base premises are flawed. Without the ability to cope with the stress and anxiety you will actually die and make zero impact on anything – you will spiral into oblivion without a trace, that does not align with your ideas. Its literally pain for no gain. Somehow this is the moral highground? Oook. At least if you are going to live as a martyr, actually do something to effect change or else its just masochism.
You also seem to assume that you ‘fixing the system’ and ‘learning to better process stress and reduce pain through psychotherapy’ are mutually exclusive, they aren’t. In my experience in life the most stable way to effect any sort of change in anything is as L said – to have a multi-faceted approach. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket, as they say. Waiting for the payload (that is never coming) to determine when you will take measures to get some psychological support also seems completely illogical.
Its not just about ‘experience of pain’ , CBT has actually been proven TO REDUCE pain, whether perceived or not – it makes no difference. Pain is pain and there is no determination and way of proving that you are perceiving or actually experiencing it, because its the same thing. Regardless, psychologists wont convince you to ‘unthink the pain’ , they will work with you on other areas of your life which allows you to feel more solid and more equipped to fight – along with a focus on raising seratonin, oxytocin levels etc which will actually reduce the pain you experience.
Words are cheap – actions speak louder than words. Put your call to arms in motion. If you want to fight, build yourself up. If you want to live in pain for zero social and political impact because you spiralled yourself into a suicidal mess, then by all means, thats a choice only you can make.
Good luck.
Your assertion of “makes no difference” is incorrect. If one has a nail through their foot, you remove the nail, not administer painkillers, and most certainly not administer psychotherapy.
And in that case, multifaceted is most certainly not warrented, medically or by the data. I don’t disagree with your life experience in multifaceted being good though. Often it is. My GP is strongly suggesting a “one-by-one” approach so there is better determinism on which treatements worked as a diagnostic technique.
The fact there is no high quality way to prove or determine pain level deterministically, what is pain caused by signals sent from nerves, what is caused by systemic amplification, and what is just plain old brain-twisting-in-knots in your head pain — and almost nothing in the way of research into it (who would fund such a thing?) …. it lets people who have bought into the ‘toe in the water’ of the system justify just plain incorrect assertions that all pain is in the head, psychotherapy is always appropriate for any pain. Fact is, it’s not. It’s complex. Pain is a lot more complex than simply stating “all in your head” and it doesn’t matter if it isn’t is a falsehood in fact, but one that is regularly propegated, in my belief, as a technique for marginalising and giving society the lamest of lame excuses for justifying how victims of pain should suffer it as individual liability rather than socialised liability.
I hope I’m making sense, and not being unclear or overpowering, or unreasonable in the strength of my statements, or the implication or statement of fact-vs-opinion.
Ben.
Ben, I must admit that I am unable to follow your ‘logic’ anymore. You seem to jump from one thing to another: you suffer immense pain, yet you clearly want to suffer/feel your pain to the maximum as you state (you want to brain wired to feel all of it). You present a whole array of “excuses” not to seek treatment, or try different approached or a combination of modalities. And that is your choice and I respect that to the full. No-one can tell where your pain comes from, whether it is purely physical (and which pain receptors are affected), or whether the pain is psychologically amplified, because you suffer such an abuse (from the TAC) and/or because you body is screaming out because you are depressed, sleep deprived, anxious, furious. Pain is pain and it doesn’t matter where it comes from, but there is treatment available and, unfortunately or fortunately, this means that the best way to be treated is via a multitude of modalities, proven to work. Nobody is suggesting that your pain “is in your head”, Ben (all pain is in the head, because the pain receptors are in the brain) and that a psych will “distort” that pain or say that it is “in your head”. No! Like Shelley says, psychological pain management strategies have been proven to reduce pain levels (by making you feel better and stronger, raising your feel-good-hormones and by giving you techniques to better cope with the pain). There’s nothing more to it. It’s not a way to make you shut up or accept the pain or even remotely force you to cop the TAC abuse and give in to our unjust system. It is a way to EMPOWER you so that you are stronger and in a better position to fight against pain and against the rotten system. It’s like giving a soldier armor and ammunition (not just an empty gun).
Did I ever tell you that my psychologist (and psychiatrist) came up with the idea for me to start this blog? Hows’ that, eh? They both feel rightly that I need to pursue the injustices inflicted upon me (and all of us) and bloody well encouraged me to do so! And I am extremely grateful for that because I would not have started it on my own (despite some vague urges to do so), and it has truly empowered me! I feel so so much better that I can at least try to make a little difference….
Anyways….the choice is yours and yours only. If you prefer to literally rot in the confines of your brain, so be it. Been there, done that and nearly committed suicide in 2010.
I do care about you immensely and I mean it, so please don’t read anything negative in this comment.
Father Christmas asked me what I’d like for xmas and I told him that nothing more would give me so much pleasure than to have him take good care of the person that reads this (you!).
Good points Lisa. @Ben, Im not going to further argue about it. I respect your decisions, even if I disagree.
One of the best things i learned from psych was to delete the word /concept ‘should’ and its variations (“coulda woulda shoulda”) from my vocab and way of thinking. I still use it by accident sometimes, but generally speaking its a negative time-wasting activity to sit in moral judgment and make statements about how things should be ~ it reduces opportunities to live in reality.
So, wading through all the idealism, I have come to a few simple and practical points.
1. You are not interested in pain relief, you want to feel the full effects of injury. Obvious solution would be to stop looking for pain relief remedies, and instead focus on ‘deleting’ the injury (!) / finding a solution to fix the injury (not sure this is even possible let alone likely, but alas). Otherwise, accept the reality that you cannot fix your injuries and try the best way you can to live day to day. Along with the choice of refusing to employ methods proven to reduce pain, it becomes unreasonable to expect others to make allowances for pain-induced behaviours, so the consequences of this is that you need to suck up all social ramifications ~ if this is done in a genuine way, you will not feel resentful or hard done by.
2. You’re not interested in changing how you operate, think or do things. Obviously this means just continue on the way you are. Nothing needed here.
3. You want compensation from the TAC ~ Your lawyer is on the case so this one is being handled.
4. You want a high level of help and support from people ~ But #1 and #2 make that near on impossible. Might be wise to accept it isn’t going to happen as a result of your choices #1, and #2, or review #1 or #2 choices to see if you can find a happy medium.
5. You want to fix society. Seems like this is a great place to spend your time and energy, keeping in mind it will be difficult to garner support as per #4, but you don’t need people to enact changes. Small steps to start. If you can counteract the lack of support inevitable because of #1 & #2, (probably by using creative means) it seems you might find fulfilment through working towards changes you want to see in society. I’d welcome hearing/seeing your contribution to this.
Links of interest:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intellectualization
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rationalization_(psychology)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Just-world_phenomenon
I’m Ben’s mum and I have been reading these articles and comments since Ben made me aware of it. I am very impressed with it and I hope it will do some good in the long run. Keep up the good work.
It is great that Ben is able to talk to people about his problems and thoughts and to get such educated and thoughtful replies. I really appreciate it as my husband and I are so emotionally involved that I sometimes feel we are more a burden than a help to Ben. My fantasy is that I could wave a wand and give Ben back his old life of being healthy and enjoying his work, hobbies and love of his ex-girlfriend. I would give up my own life in an instant if it meant I could make this happen. Don’t think this makes me wonderful, any mother would do this without a second thought for their child. If you are a mum you will understand this.
Ben has been a wonderful son and continues to be caring even though he suffers with chronic pain. Two years ago my husband suffered a heart attack and Ben provided the support I needed during his hospitalisation in Melb and his recovery. A year ago my dad got cancer and died. Dad did not want a funeral but we did decide to have a viewing. I told my kids not to come and to just remember their ‘Jack’ the way he was. Ben insisted on coming which I was most grateful for in the end as I thought I could be strong but I really did need that arm around me that Ben provided. This year my mum took sick and had to be taken by ambulance to hospital. I was 2 hours away and sick with worry but a phone call to Ben meant mum had someone looking after her until the ambulance arrived. He even went in the ambulance and waited in casuality until I arrived. I have spent 4 to 5 days each week this year in Melb at my mum’s as she has visibly declined since my dad died. Ben has been a great support coming over and helping cook for me on days I have not been there. I am eternally gratefully for his love and compassion. Mum is now in aged care as she refused to ‘be a burden’ her words, on me. This in itself makes me so sad.
It has been a rather stressful 2 years for me and for my own sanity my doctor insisted I start to see a psychologist. I wasn’t really receptive to the idea being a private sort of person but I could see that I did need someone who was not emotionally involved with my problems to talk to. She has made me aware of how to cope with my stress without taking it out on others around me, activites to do to help cope and most of all listened to my ramblings, fears and tears. This last has meant I have been able to release alot of emotion to someone who I will not upset. I can’t do that to my husband for fear of another heart attack, my mother as she has so much to bear already or my kids especially Ben. Enough of me!
Until Ben’s girlfriend left at the beginning of this year and he fell into a deep depression we really were not completely aware of the depth of his suffering physically, mentally, financially etc etc. We have the deepest regret that we were not there for him more from the beginning. Perhaps with more support in some way the burden would not have fallen on Sophie so much until she could no longer cope and it was leave or go under. Perhaps if we lived closer, phoned more often, visited more often perhaps, perhaps ………….
I rue the day we bought a little motorbike and taught him to ride. Perhaps if he had never learnt to ride he would never have bought a motorbike and never have been riding it in Melbourne and never had the accident and still been happy and unaware of what road vicitims go through with the TAC.
As much as we would like to be able to change the past, we can’t. We need to look forward, not repeat the mistakes of the past and make the best of the future for ourselves and others. To be able to do this I’ve realised that you do need to look after yourself, hence my going to a psychologist and if I think it is needed find the medication that works well for me. So I do agree with you guys about this. You are no use to others if you go under yourself you become just another burden and I did not want to do this to my family. I realised I was not giving up control of my own life – I could stop going to appointments if I wanted to, I could change psychologists if there were personality clashes or I did not like the direction they were taking and they wouldn’t change. I was not giving in or losing anything, I was just looking at another avenue to help me so that I could in the end be more of a help to my family and society. I have also realised that you do need to put all your problems and societies failings aside for a time regularly and do something just for you as it really does help make you feel stronger and able to tackle the bigger issues. ( I am doing art classes.)
Ben if you are reading this I want you to realise that I am not saying you must do anything you don’t want to do. I am just saying what has happened to me and how I feel about it. You must do what you feel is right and we will support you to the best of our abilities in anyway we can.
I would really like advise from any readers of this in the ways you feel we can help Ben. Helping with his paper work, financially and emotional support is just not enough for us. But we feel absolute ‘innocents’ and were unaware until Ben’s problems of what people were going through with TAC/workcare etc. We are willing to go that extra mile to help but just don’t know how to get started.
Many thanks again for your support to Ben and I hope you are able to give us some other ideas on how we can help Ben and also the big picture.
Ben’s mum
@Ben’s Mum: I have just read your comment and started crying…I think you are the mum of my dreams and what you are doing for Ben is utterly amazing.
Three weeks ago I nearly died (for a second time) from a heart attack and severe heart failure, caused by the anesthetic (shoulder operation number 8). I had a similar but worse event during surgery of 2007.
When my step mum (and dad) were informed of my critical situation via txt (they live overseas), all they said was along the lines of “oh dear, but please be mindful that I am working this weekend”. I kid you not. Obviously the message must have arrived early in the morning there….and was more disturbing to their sleep than anything else, whilst there was a good chance that I was going to die. Same happened in 2007. When the doctors told my partner that I was not expected to survive the night, he texted my parents and they accused me of having taken an illegal substance, of having a nasty incompetent surgeon and of being treated in a 4th world hospital. Nothing else. Did you think they were coming to visit me, let alone help me recover? Nope.
If something were to happen to them, I’d be there in a flash!
I was extremely disappointed that they literally left me for dead and eventually told them so and stopped contact in 2007.
About 6 months before this last surgery of 2 Dec my step mum had been trying to rekindle our contact and previously good relationship. Again I explained in details why I was so upset. And again, they did the same to me as in 2007. About 2 whole weeks after my heart failure I received a txt message asking me if I was getting better now…. That’s it.
My parents have never ever visited me since the accident of 7 years ago. Not even when I suffered the most horrendous complications ever. Not now. I have not seen them since 2003. And, don’t get me wrong they are both young enough to take the trip down under and help me out, if they wanted.
I have been in a situation where I had to ring some overseas friends and beg for money as I could not make the rent and was about to be evicted. No luck with my “parents”. Not even a get well card, not even a xmas card… why?
I don’t know how it is possible for a step mum (she has been my ‘mum’ since I was 11 years old) and a dad to behave like that, perhaps you can help me understand this.
I have always had a close relationship with them or as close as they allowed me to be and have always gone out of my way to help them and show them my appreciation for everything they have ever done for me in life…. and yet, this happens.
So, what I wanted to say is that I cannot understand how you possibly could do more for Ben. The fact that you are 100% behind him, there for him when he needs you/wants you should, in my opinion, be more then enough and not taken for granted. And yet you are seeking ways on how even better to support him…? What more can you do, than to love your son and to be there when he needs you?
@Ben you are so so lucky and you don’t realise it!
Be a Good Person, and Let the Jury Know It
While a jury requires solid proof of fault on the part of the wrongdoer, as well as credible evidence of damages, letting the jury know that you are an honest and good person will also go far in maximizing any money award.
First, credibility is key. Since to be human is to err and be imperfect, there will always be issues that can cloud the waters of an otherwise clear case. Rather than letting potentially damaging evidence come out for the first time during the defense attorney’s cross-examination, handle the issue up front during direct examination. For a jury, as it is for any of us, an honest person (albeit a person with life issues) can be forgiven. A liar cannot.
Second, altruism will be rewarded. Testimony that, prior to the disabling accident, you volunteered time and donated money to good causes, particularly those that supply aid to the needy, shows the jury that you are truly selfless. This is an earmark of a good person. Further, testimony that, despite the disabling accident, you continue to help others shows the jury genuine altruism. For a jury, as it is for any of us, it is much easier to reward a person who, despite adversity, has the courage to continue to be a good person.
Finally, defense attorneys will do their homework to find evidence against your credibility. Thus, your actions should not belie your trial testimony and trial should not be the first time anyone learns of your honesty and good deeds. In the end, “what goes around comes around.”
[source: http://www.personalinjurylawjournal.com/injury-law/be-a-good-person-and-let-the-jury-know-it/
I am an honest and good person, but unless I’m allowed to make complex systemic arguments my behaviours are likely to be misinterpreted by a jury.
Courts do not like to entertain politics, only law.
I’ve acted lawfully, to the best of my knowledge, and made efforts to rectify the oversights when my understnding of my responsibilities has improved (eg, the claiming on medicare vs TAC thing).
My helping others, I’ve previously been generous with my time to those around me, less so money, as there are problematic feedback loops with charity to those who have made poor financial decisions in the past. Better to feed them with a fishing line than fish. And I have been generous in that regard, both as effort to educate, but also to use financial means to help remove roadblocks from making good choices.
My ability to continue to help others is limited by my capacity. By starving me into financial desperation, they force me into a position where I need to increasingly act “for my own best interests above the right thing to do” … you understand this forcing — you’re justifying to yourself why it’s reasonable to commit federal fraud to get medical assistance (ie, claiming injury related expenses on medicare, when it’s workcovers liability, not medicares) — but you don’t have much choice — either you forgoe the treatement, or you commit fraud. People do the same thing when they’re starving — they’ll justify stealing a loaf of bread to feed their children. It’s one of the founding principals of the settlement of australia (lol) … People in extreme circumstances become forced into behaviours which are illegal.
It’s yet another tactic insurance companies use to manipulate the system, force you to hang yourself. By commiting fraud the way you are, you’re cutting your own legs off piece by piece in any future litigation. But you don’t have a huge amount of choice — finding surgery, MRI, pain killers, food, taxis — it’s all exceptionally expensive. The right thing to do is pay for it, and sue the insurance company. But if you can’t afford it, the insurance company gets to force you to either “not get the treatement” or “delay the treatement” or “commit fraud to get treatment”. All of which are in their interests, by you cutting off your own legs.
And juries and courts do not like hearing “you had to, you were forced, here are the mechanisms” …. there are no excuses to commit an illegal act. You do not do it. If you starve, you starve, if you miss out on surgery, it was lawful. If you die, it’s what lawfully should have happened. And there’s no liability the law has unto itself for enforcing unjust laws. That’s politics, legislation.
And politics doesn’t care. They’ve evolved from a government of the people, for the people, to a goverment dominated by lobbying from interest groups and corporations. There are many of them who justify it as ethical to screw whoever they can get away wtih for their own interests. And that includes taking money from insurance schemes to further poltiical goals.
So, we the people who suffer the end consequences of this mess, get sucked into being mere unwilling victims in the gears of war, in which there is no escape. And there are too many justifications and excuses, and denials, and evil people creating doubt, and propeganda to create self-justifying systems, villifying people with the truth as crazies, conspiracy nuts, and furthering the abuse by breeding apathy in the voting public. Controls within universities and schools, pressure to “conform or fail” — rather than pressures to “learn, think, and challenge assumptions” … we’re breeding a culture of apathy, and it’s “directed” for political gain.
So, given all that — what’s the answer, what makes it change, how do we change it?
Ben.
Dear Workcover victim, thank you for your reply. Your story has me weeping uncontrollably and just wanting to wrap you in a hug. I am a teacher and well aware there are people around who should never ever be parents. You can be proud of the way you have grown up dispite this to become an understanding and compassionate person with obviously an enormous amount of resilence. Never give up, the world needs more people like you.
Thank you again,
Ben’s mum
I feel exactly the same way and I am going to give you a very big virtual hug! Thanks God for mums like you!
I do realise it.
But luck in one area doesn’t mean I should stop blaming them for being apathetic voters, and refusing to discuss politics, or even consider signing something that would allow a realistic negotiation with politicians to happen to fix the legislation.
Parents who “just love you so much” but refuse to change their actions are surely more in it for their own feelings than mine, or what’s right. The selfish easy-road, rather than “what’s required” or “what’s right”
It’s the same problem with your parents, just they’re pretending less. It’s actually less deluded, more honest, despite being less helpful in practice. And I don’t know how any parent does it (I’m not even a parent, and I couldn’t imagine ever putting some stupid selfish game above my childs needs, but I’ve demonstrated over my life an unnatural willingness for self-sacrifice for justice and the right thing to do — and it means I get to lose in a society that behaves the way it does)
It’s how people behave practicall all through society, it’s sickening — but unfortunately, it’s also a rational choice — when everyone else is being selfish pricks, if you are a genuine altruist, you simply get taken advantage of until you have nothing left to give, and are forced to demand more than you get. Being a little selfish sooner, leaves you in a net-better position. But it still results in a downward spiral for society. Some people carve out small niches, but thesedays, unfortunately, even marriages are about “what’s in it for me” rather than about partnership, giving, and love.
And it’s sad.
But it’s also true.
And is likely to result in a global civil war. Perhaps not in our lifetimes. But it’ll happen. And I’m not even stretching that far in ‘conspiracy nut’ terms on this one.
One shouldn’t have to suffer adversity to become a good person, interested in justice and a properly functioning society. Yet people allow themselves to be politically brainwashed through branding and marketing campaigns, avoid politics because it’s scary, complex, hard or disinterest. It’s a social responsibility, not optional. Anyone apathetic is failing in their civic duty — and the mates of the corporations running OUR goverment support and encourage that apathy. It’s a political choice, it concentrates power, and it enables justification of a virtually endless number of injustices — this isn’t just about TAC or Workcover.
We need an engaged population, connected. Talk about the issues, in deep, analytical, meaningful ways. Act. Involvement. Understanding. Interest. Especially our intellectual elite. Schools should teach it. Universities should encourage intellectual freedom, exploration, understanding — instead they encourage “memorise this, do the exam” … And you have to suffer through an undergraduate degree of sitting down, and shutting up before you’re considered “worthy” for postgrad, or a doctorate, which is a hurdle too high, and encourages apathy in people before they really get a chance to even step a foot down the path of intellectual freedom. We allow our politicians to allow religious indoctrination in our schools, despite our constitutions. We encourage “blind acceptance” of differences, rather than an intellectual debate — having an actual intellectual debate about “should burkas be banned in australia” is so taboo, you’re likely to either get cheers from a fan-crowd of rednecks if you sound someone calling for blood, or people spouting “tolerance without question” as if it’s some kind of panacea — it’s not, it’s apathy in a box. And it shouldn’t be tolerated, not if we want a functional society. Should or shouldn’t “xyz” isn’t the problem — the problem is lack of intellectual freedom, the lack of debate, the lack of independant jouranlists and intellectuals presenting clear, well presented, fallacy-free intellectual arguments against each other in the same newspaper. Not like some giant popularity contest. But like civilised people. Not idol worship. Not pack mentality. LIke a civilisation with reason. Compassion. Love. Humanity.
Our apathy allows unjust wars. Unjust occupations. Unjust violence. Unjust persecution. No remedy for injustice. Our justice system has become a TOOL of injustice, rather than a remedy FOR justice. The people no longer trust the courts — it’s commonly known as “injustice for the benefit of the rich” yet we stand by and allow it to continue. Regardless of what you think, we the people set the rules of our own damn country — through our choice, or through our apathy by handing our power to people with evil intent.
“The penalty good men pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men.
Plato”
I hope at least one person will read, understand and finds this inspirational, rather than depressing, defeating due to the overwhelmingly odds against change without violence.
Ben.
@Ben
You’re doing it again and it kills me: in this paragraph you are blaming your own devoted and extremely supportive mum and dad for not voting right, refusing to discuss politics and sign papers, …but yet you go on to write that “intellectual freedom” is extremely important, which I totally agree. What is intellectual freedom then? Are your mum and dad not “free” to choose to stay out of politics, to vote for something/someone else and refuse to sign something you want?
You can’t force intellectual, political or other opinion(s) on someone, just like you can’t force someone to pray to Jeesus or to Allah. Not even when they are your parents, family or close friends. We’re all free, we’re all unique. That is freedom. And that doesn’t mean that those people don’t love you or don’t care about you – not at all!
What would you prefer: a bird you caught out of its nest and keep in a cage or a bird that is free and comes back to you because it wants to?
Saying that, the system sucks and that’s very true and I often feel powerless too, but I am not going to force anyone to sign, for example, my stupid petition and will certainly never blame anyone for not signing it either. I can only encourage people to do so, through education, information and at the same time by being open to alternative solutions which may be more appropriate or better thought out…
Coercion leads to abandonment. Does this make any sense?
.
No citizen is free to stay out of politics. It’s a social responsibility to be an informed voter as a citizen of Australia. Voting is compulsary as a very clear signal to this, but if you truely dispute this as fact, I’m happy to do some more research on the point and present the evidence for examination.
Ben.
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